Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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