..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
