OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Randomize
