If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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