you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
