I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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