almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
