So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Randomize
