Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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