dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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