I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize