Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
