have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize