He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
