I need help removing her.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
