The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
