But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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