lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
