i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
