I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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