Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
