Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
