i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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