Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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