Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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