He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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