If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
