You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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