My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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