isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
