Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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