2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
