Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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