he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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