i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize