I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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