Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
