and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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