we have officially lost it.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
