Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
