Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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