What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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