Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
