he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
