I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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