Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
