I have demons in me.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
