Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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