i permit you to call me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
