How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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