you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I will be naked everywhere
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
