sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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