he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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