i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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