I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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