508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
id be glad to
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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