Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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