ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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