tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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