why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
