Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
