I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
