break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
